Do we really choose our own path?
During this holiday season, most of us will spend more amounts of time with family – people
from which we’ve come. People with whom we share a history; people who’ve had great influence over who we’ve become today. When we “go home” we’re often asked to be the person we always were in our family – that son or daughter or sister or brother – that role that we’ve always played. That role we’re expected to play. When we “go home” we put on our costume and take up our part in the family play.
Some members play the part of soother – making all things smooth, peaceful, and palatable. Others play the part of distant and disconnected, while others seek to be controlling and orderly. Someone often plays the role of rebel – they’ve agreed to take the brunt of the family’s disappointment. Family members may also gang up together to try and organize power and offset another’s influence. Hopefully there are also members that are warm, loving, supportive, connected, and yet self-contained. Every family has roles, and though you may not recognize yours, you are still part of a larger play.
But if you’re playing a part in your family that is not really you, are you being genuinely you? And if not, why not? What’s the payoff for being dis-genuine? And what would happen to the family play if you decided this year to play a different part?
