Your family and kids NEED YOU. They need you to provide food & shelter (and movie tickets), but they also need you to provide leadership and presence. Your family needs you present and engaged.
I’ve learned a lot from my work with families. Let me share a few thoughts with you about being engaged in your home.
- Be present
Be there, in your home, with your family. Be physically present. For any organization, families included, it’s important to see the leadership visible and present. Your presence will bring an assurance to your kids. Be emotionally and mentally present. Put down the phone, turn off the TV, and have conversations. And let this presence extend in your neighborhood. Let your kids witness you being supportive to those around you – it’s a first step to helping your kids understand that the world is bigger than any one of us.
*Ask your kids, “What’s it like to spend time with me?” and listen to their answers.
- Be on-duty
When you’re with your family, be active. Engage. Providing leadership in your home is like a second job. When you leave work (aka “the office”) you’re not off duty. You’re going home to your next line of work. Take a few minutes before arriving home to decompress and get ready, and when you walk in the door, engage. 
*Ask someone in your home, “What would you like for us to do more of together?”
- Be willing
Your family needs you, and thus will seek your attention and presence. Your kids will ask you to do things – lots of things, and you will have to make a number of decisions about how to allocate your time and other resources.
*Pay close attention to what you say “yes” to, and what you say “no” to, and why. This will likely reveal some of your values and limitations.
- Be purposeful
Every night your family goes to bed, they wake up one day older. Before you know it, another week, and another season have slipped past. What are you waiting for? Get going and lead! 
*TIP: Whenever you notice chaos or recurring conflict in your home, it’s an opportunity to provide the purposeful leadership of order. Administrate. Problem solve. Make things better.
Two years ago my family was struggling with the morning rush out the door. We held a family meeting and develop expectations, rules, routines, and processes that brought much needed peace and order to that hour. We ended up with 10 extra minutes that allow us to play together as a family before starting the commute. Yes, I have played many games of pick-up soccer (in my dress shoes) at 7:10am.
- Be restful
Our families are exhausted! We try to do way too much, and sleep suffers. Lack of adequate sleep is leading to innumerable problems in kids, from attention issues, to mood disturbances, to weight gain. Rest is critical in our homes.
*Dads, organize your work, and your family’s week to include adequate down time and sleep. Turn off the TV, turn on the radio, read a book, and take a nap.
How much sleep do kids’ need? Check this chart.
Move up bed times. Wind down. Model rest in your home.
Dads, ask your family how they need you to be more engaged at home.
