Axioms of Relationships – part 4

All or None

Picture your own relationship.  What could happen in that relationship that would be a deal breaker?  What trauma(s) would cause your relationship to crumble?  Truth is, the answer is different for everyone.  Said differently, there are no set of unequivocal relationship deal breakers.  That’s been my professional experience.  I’ve personally witnessed relationships overcome incredible trauma and disappointment.  I’ve also seen some crumble under circumstances that others have overcome.  So why do some succumb?

Axiom 4: Any relationship can make it if both partners will do anything to save it.  No relationship can make it if only one partner is willing.  It’s all or none.


Relational reconciliation happens when both partners are willing to bend, grow, and change enough to give the other partner what they need.  {Commitment and Perseverance will overcome trauma, but it must be bilateral.}  If the relationship doesn’t survive, one or both partners weren’t willing to make the changes needed.  Reconciliation happens through some type of change.  Often the change is behavioral – “I’ll/We’ll do something different.”  Frequently the change is in priority – “I’ll care about that more/less.”  Sometimes the change is in acceptance – “I can live without that changing.”  Generally, there is some kind of change on the parts of both partners.  The difficulty comes when partners wait for the other to initiate change before they themselves are willing to bend.  It’s all or none.


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