Recently I asked everyone in our office the above question.
These are the responses I got…
Michael Waldrip:
Every couple in their Present relationship stands together on the razor’s edge of their Past and Future. Their Past has been comprised of hopes, fears, longings, regrets, hurts, wounds, desires, strengths, weaknesses, separateness, togetherness, laughter and tears. Their Future together will depend on how well the couple can reconcile, overcome and find purpose and meaning in their individual and collective Past. No couple escapes this reality. Every couple should honor their Past; nurture their Present; and embrace their Future.
Giselle Armantrout:
Often times relationships can be very difficult. This could be because they touch upon or even bring up unhealed injuries, and when these injuries inevitably surface, trouble ensues and can wreak havoc in our relationships. At this point, it is a natural reaction to go into fight or flight. We may want to end the relationship because we think it is causing us pain & discomfort. Unfortunately, we cannot blame this feeling on our partner or the person we perceive that is causing us to experience the uncomfortable feeling, but it tempting to do so.
In my experience as I work to help people improve and understand their relationships, the pain typically stems from some form of unresolved trauma/injury from the past, such as relationships that didn’t work out, childhood neglect or abandonment, and a whole array of other unhealed issues that start bleeding into the relationship slowly contaminating it. But there is a solution, heal your issues; do as much inner work as you can. Running away from the relationship is not the answer; you’ll just have to keep doing the work in another relationship. Life is much easier in a partnership with someone. Sometimes if we just pause and attempt to see things from the other person’s side, as well as our own, things get a little easier.
Dr. Matt Morris:
Relationships are hard… because of the inherent tension contained within relationships. Have you heard that opposites attract? It’s not necessarily true, but what is true, is that relationships are like magnets, and magnets have poles, and there’s inherent tension when those poles get near each other and interact. So too with human relationships. When we get near someone, we’re like magnets – attracting and repelling – creating the tension and dynamism that’s seen between magnets. In relationships, there’s inherent tension. It’s there. It bring us together and pushes us apart.
