Co-Parenting is hard… really hard. 
Co-Parenting = parents continuing to parent cooperatively together, from 2 different homes, after they have separated or divorced.
Remaining effective parents after the marriage ends (or the romantic relationship dissolves) is really difficult and complicated. In my counseling experience I’ve watched many families be torn apart by the challenges of co-parenting. Over the years, I’ve learned some important keys that work to reduce conflict in co-parenting – and I want to share some of these keys in this post.
5 Keys to Co-Parenting
1. Commit to separate spousal emotion (anger, disappointment, jealousy, sadness) from parenting. When interacting with your ex, you’re no longer wife or husband, but only mom or dad. Don’t bring any old spousal emotion into the co-parenting relationship.
2. Commit to working together when the conflict is low, disengaging more when the conflict is high, and restarting when you mess up. Don’t give up when it’s tough – take a break and then restart co-parenting.
3. Commit to taking the “long view” of parenting. Parenting lasts for years. Co-parent in such a way that you can have a relationship with your child not only this month, but for many months (and years!) to come.
4. Commit to managing your own stress. Stressed-out people make poor co-parents, and co-parenting is naturally stressful! Finances, court dates, conflicting schedules, dating and new relationships, and normal child developmental issues all add the stress inherent in co-parenting. Watch it, and take a breather when you need to.
5. Commit to getting support and critical feedback from your family and friends. You need someone on your side to hear your stress (aka “blow off steam”), and you also need someone in your corner who will call you out and critique your co-parenting. Most of the time when there’s conflict in co-parenting, both sides are contributing. Ask your friend to let you know when you’re mis-stepping.
