I would like to share an initiative founded by Dixon Chibanda, a psychiatry professor, entitled “Friendship Bench Zimbabwe”. The approach involves setting up benches in quiet, discreet corners of the community, near churches, poor neighborhoods and universities. In Zimbabwe, grandmothers were the go-to people for wisdom in rough times. While the approach was previously abandoned with urbanization, the breakdown of families, and modern technology, it is proving to be useful therapy again as mental health needs grow. “Grandmothers are the custodians of local culture and wisdom. They are rooted in their communities, they don’t leave, and in addition, they have an amazing ability to use what we call ‘expressed empathy’ to make people feel respected and understood,” said Chibanda.
This homegrown form of mental health therapy in Zimbabwe is now being adopted in the United States and has taken root in parts of Vietnam, Botswana, Malawi, Kenya, and Tanzania, flirting with London as well. New York City’s new mental health plan launched last year and claims it is drawing inspiration from the Friendship Bench initiative to help address risk factors such as social isolation. The orange benches are now in areas including Harlem, Brooklyn, and the Bronx. In Washington, the organization HelpAge USA is piloting the Friendship Bench concept. So far, 20 grandmothers, determined to make it okay to talk about feelings, have been trained by a team from Friendship Bench Zimbabwe to listen, empathize, and empower others to solve their problems. Cindy Cox-Roman, the president of HelpAge USA said “People are hurting and a grandmother can always make you feel better. We have so much wisdom in our older population and arms that can open.” Dr. Jehan El-Bayoumi, a founding director of the Rodham Institute at Georgetown University, stated “The Zimbabwean concept provides people with someone you can trust, open up your heart to, that you can tell your deepest secrets, and that requires trust. That’s what is so wonderful about the Friendship Bench.” The network, now partnering with the World Health Organization, has grown in 2023 to include over 2,000 grandmothers across the country!
The Friendship Bench Zimbabwe is intriguing to me for so many reasons. On a personal note, I was loved dearly by a grandmother who was especially comforting, encouraging, loving, and exceedingly wise. She and I spent many years “on a bench” discussing numerous truths. A few stand-outs are firstly, the importance of remaining true to oneself, no matter the adversity. By doing so, the best of the story will play out honestly and with integrity. Secondly, she deeply believed that every person has something interesting and unique to claim. By truly listening, paying attention and cultivating a sincere curiosity, a whole world opens before us. In many ways, being a grandmother in my current life awakens her teaching for me…what a gift!
As an associate of Dr. Matt Morris, my office is cozy, private, and a cushioned bench welcomes you! I love connection, as it is the basis from which I work, as therapy is internal and often intangible work. I strive to offer a safe, comfortable, and trusting space to launch our therapeutic journey together. Call or book an appointment online at Dr. Matt Morris & Associates.
504-339-3597
